Here, a couple veterans and new recruits size up an EB Games in Suffern, NY. The veterans know exactly what to expect and are prepared for the worst. The new recruits will have to observe and learn quickly in order to survive.
One of the new recruits rejoices a bit too early - the store hasn't even been checked out. Be careful! Never underestimate the evil of Shaq-Fu. It lurks when you least expect it. The veteran answers him with an affluent suggestion. The recruit rejoices.
Here's our recruit again but he is horribly mistaken. You see, commercialism has also given birth to many other sport celebrity concept games. Do not be fooled! To authenticate a copy of Shaq-Fu, be sure to locate the "Enforcer of Justice" badge that is on all cartridges.
Also, as this veteran knows, one tends to find many copies of old sports games. Battle hardened, our veteran utters a cry of disgust and a threat.
Later that night...
Be warned! There are many other games that may cause seizures as you gaze upon them. Our brave veteran risked his life to show you this. Do not look at the box for the evil of their black hearts will annihilate your very soul. (Note: Veterans are immune to the harmful rays emitted from other horrible games for they have come in contact with many copies of Shaq-Fu and have built up a tolerance.)
Sometimes, it is very hard to find copies of Shaq-Fu. It can be frustrating, as we can see in this picture. This veteran knows where to place his anger in such a case.
Only through careful observation and unyielding fervor can a man successful locate a copy of Shaq-Fu. Our recruit has found his first copy, the first of many. He realizes now how noble the cause! How necessary the fight! He's understood for the first time what it means to live.
A job well done - our heroes have successfully cleared EB Games in Suffern, NY of its copies of Shaq-Fu. No longer will the employees live in fear of the game as they clean shelves, no longer will the scourge that is Shaq-Fu gaze cruelly as someone shifts through the SNES games in search of copies of Chrono Trigger, no longer will that stores database be debauched with a record of that store possessing the game. EB Games in Suffern, NY - your chains are broken. You now know what it means to be free.